Of Black Toenails and Shin Splints

Friday Flick: Three Men and a Baby

Let's try something cheery, shall we?

I've been on an '80s movie kick lately, and I recently watched Three Men and a Baby. Guys, what the heck? HOW did Spock wind up directing this movie? There is hardly anything remotely plausible about this piece. The mom just leaves baby Mary with Ted Danson's character without even so much as making sure someone's home to take the baby? I can barely take the garbage out without knowing exactly where my kids are, and this woman is just leaving the baby in front of a NYC apartment like it's no big deal.

(If my dad is reading this blog post, he's probably thinking "It's just a movie, Megan.")

Spoiler! The guys take in the baby and let the mom live in the apartment. If this movie was made today, the premise would have turned into "An inside look at DCFS." Right?

But enough about the plot; let's talk about Tom Selleck's character, who is a runner. We see him chatting up women on his runs (because let's face it - he's basically the only guy on earth who can successfully ask a woman out on a date while sweat is pouring out of his skin), and his running enables him to chase down some baddies on a drug deal gone bad in a subplot that's totally unnecessary and detracts from the charm of the movie.

What's interesting to me is that I totally buy Selleck as a runner. You know when you watch some films where the character is supposed to be a runner, but you can't buy the actor running to the mailbox, let alone embarking on a 10-mile jaunt? ("The Big Chill" and Jared Leto as "Pre" come to mind.) I actually see Selleck as a runner, and Google tells me that he was in pretty good shape at the time of the movie because of Magnum PI. So that's cool and lends a bit of authenticity in a film that's sadly lacking it.

(Selleck's Wikipedia entry also suggests he's a libertarian, making me wonder if he is the 1980s version of Ron Swanson.)

It's just too bad the movie didn't take the running a step further and have Selleck's character (an architect, who presumably added a pull-out bar so everyone can push Mary's stroller in the last scene) design a jogging stroller well before it became a "thing."

The entire aspect of Selleck's-character-as-a-runner takes up a total of about 10 minutes, tops, of the movie, so I can see why it's not included in the canon of running movies. But definitely check it out, if only to see Tom Selleck running around NYC.

Friday Flick: The Fugitive

The running in this film - sweet merciful heavens, WHY is this film not included in RunningMovies.com? I realize it's not about an actual runner, but is instead about Dr. Richard Kimble (Harrison Ford) wrongfully accused of murdering his wife. He gets a lucky break out of the prison van and is on the run for most of the movie. Tommy Lee Jones plays Samuel Gerard, the vengeful U.S. Marshal who is hell-bent on returning Kimble to prison.

It's a compact film - I'd look up at the clock and think "Only 20 minutes have passed?" - and it leaves you breathless. Kimble dodges and darts his way out of Gerard's clutches, and just shows he has the mind of a smart guy, but not necessarily that of a criminal (which he's not).

But again, back to the running. Kimble runs through a parade, through the sewers, through a hospital, a prison, and throughout Chicago. It's almost always in jeans and regular shoes, too. There's also a certain desperation to his running that you don't really see in a running-centered movie: Kimble wants to clear his name and avenge his wife's death, not win a race or improve his PR. And can you blame the guy? The flimsy evidence on which he's booked would drive anyone to want to make a break for it as soon as they could.

The movie uses a fair bit of Chicago that you don't typically see in films: its St. Patrick's Day parade, the county hospital, and other landmarks are noted. Kimble's home, located in Lincoln Park, perfectly illustrates the doctor's comfort prior to all hell breaking loose.

Would I see it again? Yes. It has running, and more importantly, Harrison Ford running. Also, Jones' one-liners were worth sitting through the movie. 

Number of training montages: Haha, none.

Is this one of those "couch-potato-to-marathoner" stories? No.

Number of inspirational songs: Probably none that I can think of. Seriously, it would have been cheesy to hear "Running against the wind" as Kimble races through the woods.

What I give this movie: Four out of five running shoes.

 

Friday Flick: The Running Man

Oh, this was a hot mess.

It's one of those "could possibly happen, now that I think about it" movies set in the not-so-distant future. Big Brother government? Check. Violence as entertainment through the prism of reality TV? Check. Schwarzenegger shouting stupid one-liners? Check again.

Remember Bright Lights, where you took a black piece of paper, stuck small colored bulbs in them, and then turned on a light against the paper? It looked like this, but on an actual person. Yeah, I know! I had to keep reminding myself that this movie came out in 1987, so it was probably considered cutting-edge at the time. That's the thing with watching films that are 20+ years old: You know it was done in earnest, and that people would be all "Whoa!" and stuff with the end product, but really? It looks dated and contrived. I also think viewers' criteria for good movies tend to evolve, and also, we are not caught up in the marketing mayhem that surrounded the film when it was first released - we can take a step back and look at it more objectively without seeing advertisements extolling a piece of garbage as "(Insert director's name) finest work ever!" or "(Actor) needs an Oscar for this piece!"

Where was I? Yes, The Running Man. There is hardly any running in the film, unless you count Schwarzenegger running from the government, running from people who are trying to kill him, and just running. It's not an inspirational film, but it's an OK film to watch when you're cooped up inside because of the beastly weather.

Would I watch it again? Probably not.

Friday Flick: The Big Chill

The soundtrack alone is enough of a reason to watch The Big Chill. Take a look at it. Every song in that soundtrack is a classic in its own right, making it an enjoyable compilition.

I've heard it played in many iterations over the years: on my parents' record player, then on their CD player, and then on my own iPod. It's Motown, which is played on heavy rotation in my family's home. And who doesn't like Motown?

But I've never seen the movie until last night, if that means anything.

The Big Chill is one of those movies where you find yourself struggling for reasons as to why you haven't seen it yet, as there really is no good reason not to  want to pick it up from Netflix and watch it. Glenn Close and Jeff Goldblum are both in it, cheese and rice, the soundtrack is amazing, and the movie features an antebellum home in South Carolina.

I can't even claim the film's age (it was released in 1983, when I was two) as to why I haven't watched it. My parents saw it and loved the film, as it was of "their" generation. I suspect many people my age are in the same scenario - you grew up knowing about the movie because it was such a hit with the parents, so of course you'd be curious enough to watch it at some point.

I'll be honest, though - I've waited almost 30 years to see it, and it's kind of disappointing. I don't understand why no one wants to hook up with Goldblum's character (he's funny and actually has a personality, unlike the other male characters). I also can't understand how the film drags on and on and on, even though it's just over 100 minutes long.

But mostly, I'm disappointed that this was classified as a running movie on Runningmovies.com. The characters barely jog! When they start to run, they stop right away to have a Meaningful Conversation About Something. Oh, and one of the characters owns a running store and sashays around the house in skimpy running shorts, so that's that.

Would I see it again? No, probably not. It felt like a long movie, and I hate that.

Number of training montages: None. A few characters jog a few times in the film, but they're really quick scenes.

Is this one of those "couch-potato-to-marathoner" stories? No. Although, the character who owns a running shoe store tries to encourage his chain-smoking friends to run by giving them running shoes.

Number of inspirational songs: Maybe not "inspirational," but definitely worth putting on one's iPod for those long runs.

What I give this movie: Maybe - maybe - three out of five running shoes.

Friday Flick: Run Lola Run

Run Lola Run is one of those fun films that no one talks about, but remembers fondly if you bring it up in conversation.

The film has an interesting premise: Lola (played by Franka Potente) was supposed to meet her boyfriend Manni (Moritz Bleibtreu) after he received a bag of cash for a shady deal. Her moped is stolen, and she can't meet him. He ends up taking the train, sees the police, and flees, leaving the bag of money - which is supposed to be sent on to a crime boss - on the train. If Manni doesn't deliver the money to the boss within 20 minutes, he'll almost certainly wind up dead.

Thus begins the running, and what makes  Run Lola Run such a neat film. Lola decides to help Manni, and takes off. What then follows is three scenarios of what might happen. As she runs, she literally runs into different people, and the film allows us to see what will happen to each person in a series of quick shots. In the first scenario, one character is later seen to be in a car accident, in the hospital, then a gruesome suicide, and culminating in a quick shot of a tombstone. In the second, that same character is seen to fall in love with a bank teller. The movie is basically an amped-up, more polished version of Sliding Doors, which explored the same premise of "What could happen next?"

In the other films I've reviewed, running is portrayed as part of a lofty goal, or can be seen as a metaphor for the character. But in Run Lola Run, running is utilitarian and a means of survival. It also looks incredibly painful, as Franka Potente clearly isn't wearing a sports bra as she takes off on the streets of Berlin. Despite the fact I know Lola isn't really a "good" person, as she's mixed up with this awful crime, I find myself rooting for her every time I see this film.

Would I see it again? Yes. I actually used to own this movie, but for whatever reason, I sold it at a long-ago garage sale.

Number of training montages: None. Lola runs purely as a means of survival, and to outrace the clock.

Is this one of those "couch-potato-to-marathoner" stories? No. No, no, no, no. This is one of those "If I don't get the money to my boyfriend in time, we're both dead" sort of movies.

Number of inspirational songs: None, but there are quite a few quick dance songs that wouldn't be out of place in a workout playlist.

What I give this movie: Five out of five running shoes. It's a fast movie - which I like - and is incredibly enjoyable.

The trailer is below, and I don't think it does the film justice.